I’m exhausted, my hands are cold, my skin is sensitive, my eyes are tired, but the sun is shining and it’s 50 degrees!! Compared to the wet rain last week my physical response is frustrating in light of the beautiful weather. I sat bundled in my coat yesterday with the heat blasting in my office but couldn’t shake the cold sensitivity. Today is no different. I sit here with a blanket on my legs, the heater going under my desk and I’m think I better get my coat as my arms are hurting which is starting to interfere with my ability to type. Ok I just went and got my coat.
I went to bed last night early and still had to force myself out of bed at 5:10 instead of 5:00. Yesterday it was worse as I stayed in bed until 5:20, but I made it out of the house at 6:30 to make it to the office by 7:15. As humans we are not designed to go to work in the dark and come home in the dark for one thing and when you add Fibromyalgia to the mix sheer will power and sense of responsibility has to take over to get up and keep going.
The change in weather no matter to the sun or to rain it all hurts. If I could be in one place that is the same everyday I wonder if that would make a difference. I’ve dreamed of the freedom to afford to visit places at different times in their seasons and to find the one place where I don’t hurt living there. Is it really that simple just moving? Probably not. If I could find relief, a cure what joy that would be.
Well it’s 7:41 and I best get to work. I’ve got invoices to review for correct g/l #’s and a year-end to complete for the CPA, 1098’s that need typing and 1096’s that need completing. Such a beautiful sunny day, I miss being with my horses everyday – lucky I had 4 years at home in my barn – time I cherish deeply now. Lucky hubby gets to stay home and play in the sunshine. I hurt too much to ride anyways today. Oh well I get to sleep in tomorrow………….